It's back to school time at our house. Like everyone else with small children it brings along with it mixed emotions. I have loved our lazy summer days.. or not so lazy. There were lots of swimming lessons, beach days, walks, bike rides, and camps. This has by far been the best summer yet for us as a family. Although I will miss summer, I am looking forward to a little peace and quiet, walks with Dave and seeing my kids come home from school with something new every day excited to share.
This year in particular will be different. The kids are not going to walk through familiar doors next week. They won't have that excitement in seeing all of their friends that they have missed. This year is new. For reasons that are really not so important now that decisions have been made, we decided to start fresh. They are leaving what was a small family atmosphere for a much larger school. I liked small, but look forward to them meeting so many new faces. There are the uniforms that made mornings so easy. I will miss them. Emily on the other hand came home from shoe shopping with Grandma with tons of shoes that "don't need socks and are not all white or brown!" She was ecstatic. There are the teachers we LOVED... really LOVED... tremendously gifted people who loved our children more than we could have hoped. I will miss them, but know that there are teachers just like that where they are going.
Change is a funny thing. Sometimes change happens to us. For instance, my little man sees this change as happening to him. He is mad, he is anxious and a little scared. He liked his school. He cried every morning for 2 years going to school. Last year he finally felt comfortable at school. And now we start again.... I am bracing myself.
Sometimes we embrace change. Emily is so excited! She made me take her for school supplies as soon as we had the list. On our tour of the school she kept saying "I love this place!" She had a difficult year last year and is looking forward to starting fresh. She has found every positive aspect about her new school and is focusing on the good. She is excited about gym and music twice a week. When she saw the art room she was in awe :) So far she has embraced this change without any anxiety at all. For those of you that know her, this is HUGE....
And then there are those that agonize over change. Pretty sure that's where I stand. There was so much good where we were. So many things to be happy about. There were also some things we wished for that just weren't. I can't wait until the first day. I just need it to happen. I need it to be okay. Don't get me wrong, I am happy with our decision, and I think, for us, it is the right decision. But how do you know for sure??? I will know when Michael walks in for the first time without looking back. I will know when Emily comes home talking about her new friends. I guess it really isn't me knowing I made the right decision, but them knowing. I just want them to know that mom isn't tearing them from a place they love for no reason, but because she agonized for months weighed so many things... It is so hard as a parent to know what you should do.. Especially when you thought you had already figured this part out.
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