Highlights....

 One of these days, I am going to get a picture of this child where he is smiling with his eyes open.  Until then, I refuse to stop taking or arguing about pictures.  It is what it is :) I was so proud of these on their first morning at their new school.  Both were up early and excited.  Both were excited to pick out clothes (although Michael is wearing his "uniform shorts" in this picture).  They were brave, more so than I ever expected.

 Then we got to school.  Emily was still excited, and Dad walked her to find her classroom while I took care of the not so excited brother.  The school is twice the size.  There more than double the number of students.  I didn't have the heart to ask him how he felt, but I knew.  I settled him in at his desk and said goodbye..  and he sat, staring into space, very unsure as to what would happen next.  As I got to Em's classroom to say goodbye, I was so thrilled to see Audrey.  Audrey is a girl that was on Emily's baseball team this past spring.  It never occurred to me, because the team actually plays in another town, that Audrey was from town.  All of the worry and anxiety drained out of Emily's face instantly.  She was so happy to see a familiar face and could now relax.  Any mom knows the feeling of relief I had in that moment.  She was okay....

 I wish I could say the same for Michael.  I left the school in tears after checking in the window to see him with his arms crossed and head down.  There he was, my little man, mad.  I left not knowing how the day would end.  Not knowing if I would be dealing with tears or anger.  such is the life of a mom. 

I picked them up at 2:45 to huge smiles and high fives !  When asked how school was, both were happy and ready to share all about their day.  I was relieved.  As I went through their folders later on, I found this adorable monster.

 And this very honest hand.  I saw it on his face when I left, I saw it in how he was sitting holding his hands together, in how he wouldn't say hello to any of the kids in the room.  I couldn't ask him in that moment.  I couldn't hear "mommy I'm scared" because quite frankly I was scared myself.  I wanted to hug him and tell him it would be okay but I knew it would make it harder.  So even though I didn't ask, I now know for sure how he felt in that moment, and am grateful that he had an opportunity to express it to me, even if it was at the end of the day in an adorably colored kissing hand :) 

If only it could have been that simple...  nope.  On day 2, after another great day, the little man was a little overconfident in his physical capabilities and thought he could jump from 8 feet up.  After some scary moments hearing "I'm going to die!"  and "why did I do that?  I'm not really smart!" and "I need to go to the hospital!", we went for some x-rays.  Although it is not conclusively broken, he is in pain.  He is on crutches..  It has been a challenge having him so limited as to what he can do..  but he has made the best of it only as Michael can.  He hobbled all over my friends yard yesterday and convinced the big kids to take care of him.  

So we start week two with a very happy 8 year old and hobbling not so scared any more 6 year old.  Despite our emergency room excitement, it has been a great week and we are looking forward to next week going to school "unscared" and "un-new". 

Life is good..

New Beginnings

It's back to school time at our house.  Like everyone else with small children it brings along with it mixed emotions.  I have loved our lazy summer days.. or not so lazy.  There were lots of swimming lessons, beach days, walks, bike rides, and camps.  This has by far been the best summer yet for us as a family.  Although I will miss summer, I am looking forward to a little peace and quiet, walks with Dave and seeing my kids come home from school with something new every day excited to share.

This year in particular will be different.  The kids are not going to walk through familiar doors next week.  They won't have that excitement in seeing all of their friends that they have missed.  This year is new.  For reasons that are really not so important now that decisions have been made, we decided to start fresh.  They are leaving what was a small family atmosphere for a much larger school.  I liked small, but look forward to them meeting so many new faces.  There are the uniforms that made mornings so easy.  I will miss them.  Emily on the other hand came home from shoe shopping with Grandma with tons of shoes that "don't need socks and are not all white or brown!"  She was ecstatic.  There are the teachers we LOVED...  really LOVED...  tremendously gifted people who loved our children more than we could have hoped.  I will miss them, but know that there are teachers just like that where they are going.

Change is a funny thing.  Sometimes change happens to us.  For instance, my little man sees this change as happening to him.  He is mad, he is anxious and a little scared.  He liked his school.  He cried every morning for 2 years going to school.  Last year he finally felt comfortable at school.  And now we start again....  I am bracing myself.

Sometimes we embrace change.  Emily is so excited!  She made me take her for school supplies as soon as we had the list.  On our tour of the school she kept saying "I love this place!"  She had a difficult year last year and is looking forward to starting fresh.  She has found every positive aspect about her new school and is focusing on the good. She is excited about gym and music twice a week.  When she saw the art room she was in awe :) So far she has embraced this change without any anxiety at all.  For those of you that know her, this is HUGE....

And then there are those that agonize over change.  Pretty sure that's where I stand.  There was so much good where we were.  So many things to be happy about.  There were also some things we wished for that just weren't. I can't wait until the first day.  I just need it to happen.  I need it to be okay.  Don't get me wrong, I am happy with our decision, and I think, for us, it is the right decision.  But how do you know for sure???  I will know when Michael walks in for the first time without looking back.  I will know when Emily comes home talking about her new friends.  I guess it really isn't me knowing I made the right decision, but them knowing.  I just want them to know that mom isn't tearing them from a place they love for no reason, but because she agonized for months weighed so many things...  It is so hard as a parent to know what you should do..  Especially when you thought you had already figured this part out.

Here is to new beginnings, embracing change, and understanding when sometimes that whole embrace thing might take a while.